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The Choice of the
Partner Grand Ayatollah H.E. Sayyed M. H.
Fadlullah Q Is the Muslim woman
given the freedom of choosing her future husband away from the authority
of the father? A: In Islam, the father doesn't have
the authority to interfere in his adult children's-males or females -
decisions, especially in the case of marriage. Although many
reservations concerning the issue of the virgin are being raised on the
behalf of some Islamic jurisprudents, we believe that both adult males
and females possess the legal right to make their own personal
decisions. However, it is up to the person himself / herself to consult
the father if she/he wishes to. Nevertheless, all Islamic jurisprudents
agree on the point that the widowed or the divorced has the absolute
freedom to choose her own future partner. The matter of obedience to parents,
which Islam calls for, shouldn't contradict with the benefits of the
children. If the son or daughter recognizes that this obedience to the
parents doesn't fit his/her ambitions, then he/she has the total right
to seek what benefits him/her. Thus, any person-male or female has the
legal right to get married to whom he/she sees his/her life with. As a
matter of fact, since obedience to parents is not an Islamic law, it is
just a case of taking care, protecting, and respecting our parents; the
above-mentioned behavior is not considered an act of disloyalty or
disobedience. The persons are supposed to be kind, helpful, and patient
to their parents nothing more. Q: According to this, is
the contract of the virgin's marriage that has taken place without the
father's agreement, legal? A: If we adopt the view that
necessities the presence of the father , then we have to say that the
virgin woman is prohibited from getting married without her father's
agreement, and in this case the marriage, if it happens, would be
illegal. However, some other Islamic jurisprudents, like Assayid Al-
Khouee, resort to what is called obligatory precaution to the case of
such marriage. They demand that the father should agree, or that the man
should divorce since the contact is not absolutely valid. In the same sense, the view that
advocates the marriage of the virgin woman without the presence of
either her father or her grandfather is also a legal view and is
advocated by a number of scholars, and thus the marriage in their view
is legal. If the permission of
marriage is not subjected to the idea of loyalty, them why is the woman
supposed to ask her father's permission not her mother's knowing that
the emotional relation between the mother and her daughter is stronger
than that with the father? It is probable that the father might
be more understanding to the personality of the proposed person that the
mother. However, we have already stated that the permission of marriage
is not a necessity neither from the father nor from the mother.
Therefore, both the father, and the mother meet in this point. It is, in
fact to the daughter's devotion to seek the permission if she wishes to. -What are the qualities
needed in a daughter or in a son to make her/him a decision maker? Both the son or the daughter Should
be mature enough to make their own decisions. They should be rational
and aware of what benefits them. The Preferable
qualities in a partner. What are the preferable
qualities, which Islam motivates the man or the woman to find in the
partner? Islam necessities the presence of
both the religious and the moral traits upon choosing the future
partner. For instance, the Prophet(p.) once said: "If the religious and
the moral qualities exist in the proposed partner, accept the proposal,
otherwise it would turn out to be a greatest corruption on earth." For
more clarification, a man once consulted the Prophet(p.) about the kind
of the person he should get married to. The Prophet(p.) advised: "The
religious one." Going deep into the word "religious",
we could understand that the mind, the heart, and the body are
inclusive. A religious or a pious person is known for his commitment to
his religious duties within himself and with others as well. A pious
person who is faithful and obedient to Allah knows and respects his
limits and the limits of others. Thus, the presence of the religious
element guarantees the success and the healthiness of a marriage life. In addition, Islam focuses on the
presence of the moral side in the process of choice to a partner. The
moral side is so essential in that it enriches the spiritual one. The
presence of both the moral and the spiritual empowers the relation and
strengthens it against any shaking trouble. These two elements help in
the compatibility of the partners yet they become more faithful, more
honest, and more merciful to each other. Islam concentrates on and
highlights the importance of the presence of the moral side for the
moral side for the success of any human relation not only the
marriage-relation. The Prophet(p.) said: "I have been
commissioned to perfect the best of morals." Allah also says: "And marry
such of you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and
maid-servants. And marry such of you as are solitary and the
pious of your slaves and maid-servants. If they be poor, Allah will
enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means, Aware.
Allah is of ample means, Aware. “24:32
ا However, Islam doesn't give any
credence to the partner's economical side simply because money doesn't
make a man' it doesn't form one's human values; it is man who makes
money that is why the presence of money is not stable; it easily goes.
Allah says: " "
in fact, a person might be poor but rich in his values, love, and care. What do you advise a
woman who is asked to choose between either staying single or choosing a
person who doesn't posses the Islamic qualities? If the proposed person in an ordinary
person who doesn't affect negatively her beliefs and doesn't bring
troubles to her life, then I prefer the state of marriage to the state
of staying single. Woman and her invasion
to the fields of arts and media The Observance to the
moral limits: -If woman's work outside
her house has been legally issued, is her work in the fields of art and
media which is mixed with men, permitted? In principle, such kinds of jobs are
not prohibited. Woman's entrance to the world of cinema and theatre is
Islamically legalized provided that the woman herself would observe her
restrictions and keep her moral values as well. Needless to say that the
observance of restrictions and moral values are also, required on the
behalf of men. Both men and woman have the same rights and are thus
subjected to the same laws and restrictions. If there is any
objection towards the woman's job in the cinema, it might be due to the
lack of the Islamic cinemas and theaters nothing more. In the same
manner, if the Islamic benefit requires the development of such fields
so that we could limit the impact of the western culture and tradition
on our Muslim people and so that the theatre and the cinema could guide
and instruct to the right path of Islam, than woman's work becomes a
must.
If they be poor, Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample
means, Aware.
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