TO GUIDE YOUR CHILDREN To SUCCESS?
If you want your son to be that human being who would draw his way
in life with determination and confidence, one who would overcome all
obstacles and would become a successful personality in the future. You
have to adopt the following recommendations, that were reached through
scientific experiments and reaffirmed by the experience of parents, over
many successive generations:
1 - Let him Depend on Himself
A child cannot depend on himself unless you can build up his confidence
and his capabilities. And this could be done in one way only; To let him
try to do all kinds of things regardless of how tough they might seem to
be. The child who is used to do his room, to walk to school by himself,
to take care of his games and toys, and in short to overcome the
difficulties he faces daily, is the child who could have a strong
personality and enjoy a successful life. In order to do this, there is
no need to enroll our children in special educational schools. Rather it
is enough to let them face problems without depending on us.
2- Encourage Your Child at every Possible Chance
I can see no stronger motive for success like encouraging people whether
young or old, ignorant or wise. For encouragement is like oil to a
machine or like gas to an airplane. Furthermore, were it not for
encouragement, many scientists would not have risen to the status of
fame and immortality they come to enjoy. Life is full of evidence that
demonstrate the great achievements that encouragement played a role in
One of the great orators said once:
"I do not remember that I have ever committed a mistake in any of my
speeches or hesitated or forgot what I wanted to say. Nor have I felt
afraid of the public. All this is due to the encouragement I received
the very first time I spoke in public 40 years ago. At that time a
lecturer was supposed to address a family meeting in our house but he
was late. As I happened to have memorized a poem I read it to the people
who were beginning to get bored and annoyed. One of the great academics
who happened to be present, praised my recitation to the extent that he
used to say "bravo" every time I finished reciting a single verse. Forty
years later, I have delivered thousands of speeches and received
thousands of encouragement messages and words of praise. But the first
time I heard the word "bravo" is still the one that rings in my ears and
gives me strength and encouragement".
Encouraging people and children gives them hope and fills them with
happiness. Why should we hesitate to encourage others when all it costs
us is a few words knowing the great results it will achieve.
3- Lead them to become good people.
A successful father is the one who nurtures a strong and even iron like
will in his children. Such a strong will could only be achieved by
strengthening one's spirit so that it could become more ascetic than
that of the well to do and more capable of overcoming difficulties.
There are many ways to help the father build his child's will power, the
most important of which are:
- Refusing to accommodate to all his wishes and give him every thing he
asks for.. A child has to learn to be patient and undemanding. To teach
your child to be patient we recommend:
When you want to buy something for your child or accommodate one of his
demands, think it over for a while and then go ahead with the decision
you have reached. The second method is to let him acquire the traits of
the faithful believers, that of asceticism, patience, prudence, fasting
and prayers. The Messenger (P.B.U.H.) says:
"Teach your children to pray when they become seven"
In addition to strengthening the faith of the child, prayers teaches
commitment and strengthens the personality. Fasting the month of Ramadan
could also strengthen the child's will power.
4- Let Them Acquire a Positive Attitude:
Success in life needs optimism and a permanent positive attitude. On the
other hand, failure is always a product of pessimism and negativism.
That is why we find that Islam fights pessimism and considers it one of
the qualities of the unbelievers. The Holy Quran says:
"Do not despair of Allah's mercy; none but the unbelievers despair of
The prophetic tradition says:
"Be optimistic of good tidings and you will be so rewarded".
Therefore the parents are required to make of their children positive
people who are always optimistic and enthusiastic, and who always have
hope in Allah, and His support of His followers, even in the darkest of
5- Teach them to be Ambitious and Motivated
One of the great religious scholars asked his son once:
- What do you want to be in the future?
- I want to be like you.
- You will not be able to do so. Because what made me reach what I am
today was that I wanted to be like Imam Ali (A.S.), and of course I did
not achieve my goal but became what I am today. You only want to be like
me and consequently you also will not reach your goal. If you want to
become like me you should aim as high as I did.
Imam Ali (A.S.) says: "The best aims are the highest".
To discover the essence of a man and know if he is worth of being
considered among the great, look at the aims he seeks to achieve... Such
aims could be directed both towards this life as well as the other
life... Those who want to become billionaires will become millionaires
and those who would be contented with their daily bread will end up as
members of the deprived classes. Similarly those who want to be the
neighbors of prophets in Heaven will undoubtedly reach their goal.
Some of the people are only concerned with themselves and their
household and would be satisfied in acquiring some basics of knowledge,
while others try to utilize all their powers and carry the burdens of
their nation and the future generations as well. They will talk to them
and write to them. That is why a religious scholar is 70 thousand times
better than a worshipper who is only concerned with his personal
salvage, while the scholar tries to save the whole nation, and liberate
it from the chains of ignorance and slavery. Both you and your son
should aim to achieve great goals. Those who die as they were born with
out writing their names in history have not had any real life. Allah
calls on us to make use of all our powers so that we will be able to
achieve whatever we wish to accomplish.
But man has neglected his powers and grew to be contented with the minor
concerns of the worldly life, and with little effort to achieve
salvation in the hereafter.
Therefore the ambitions of our sons should not be confined to certain
villages or cities... It should encompass the whole world, being the
land of Allah, and the Muslim, His caliph on earth. That is why we find
Imam Hassan (A.S.) urging his sons and nephews to learn to be ambitious
and prepare themselves to carry great responsibilities.